Insecurities
by snapesnuggler4980
Summary: Something big just happened that effects the team dramatically, but guess who is hurt more deeply than anyone. Reviews are appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

"Come on, Gibbs. Pick up" Abby said to herself as she listened to the phone ring.

The funeral was earlier that day, but Abby just couldn't stand to say good bye with everyone else there. It was now just about thirty minutes til midnight, but she needed Gibbs with her. He was literally her shoulder to cry during the service.

"Yeah, Gibbs," came a familiar voice from the other side of the line.

"Gibbs. I hope I'm not waking you, but I was hoping if you would come with me to visit Tony," she wanted to add that she probably would never leave if she went alone.

"Sure Abs. Don't worry though, you didn't wake me. I was just sitting with my boat. I'll be over in five to pick you up, okay?"

"Thanks Gibbs. I'll be ready" she couldn't hide her whimpers in her voice.

"No problem Abs." Gibbs heard the sadness in her voice. He hung up, grabbed his coat, and left.

**Abby's Front Door**

Gibbs knocked on the door to her apartment, but he didn't expect her to be right by the door.

Abby practically runs into Gibbs, wanting a hug, and nearly knocks him over.

"Abs?"

"What is it Gibbs?"

"Ready to go see Tony?"

"No, but if I don't do it now, I never will."

"Then lets go."

With out releasing Abby, Gibbs shuts her front door, locks it with the spare key she gave him, and headed to the car.

They were both silent during the whole trip.

After Gibbs cut off the engine, he spoke, "Abs, were here. Want me to come with you?"

"No Gibbs. I know you are going to keep an eye on me though, but it would be nice if you can let me speak to him privetly" she didn't want Gibbs feel as if she didn't trust him, but Tony and Abby, they talked about things she would never say to Gibbs' face.

"Okay Abs. I'll be visiting another friend of mine if you need me."


	2. Chapter 2

Abby stepped out of Gibbs' car and over to Tony. She was visibly sad but didn't cry this time.

"Tony, it's only been hours but I miss you already. I just can't take the fact that you are gone. I don't think Gibbs can either. I called him in the middle of the night for him to take me here and he was wide awake. Probably working on his boat and drinking Bourbon in his basement, but it was most likely just the last two b's."

Tony didn't say anything. She knew he wouldn't but she continued talking anyways.

"I don't know what I am going to do without you. After Kate left us, you were the only one that I could talk to about Gibbs. Who will I go to now? I know what you would say, Tony. 'Tell him', but I can't Tony. He probably thinks of me as a daughter. There is no way that I would risk our friendship for something he probably doesn't want."

Still no response. She wasn't expecting one.

"But he is all I have now. I mean, yeah there is Tim and Ziva but I just can't talk to them about something like that."

She sat down on the grass next to Tony.

"I miss you so much big bro. I want you to just walk into my lab on Monday and give me one of your big Tony bear hugs."

She sighed.

"Tony, I love you. And tell Kate I love her and miss her so much. Don't bug her too much. You have each other again. Don't ruin your last chance with her. And if you ever run into Shannon and Kelly, tell them Gibbs misses them so much."

Tony is gone. She knew that he will never answer her. She sat there for a while in silence until Gibbs walked up behind her.

"Abbs?"

"Hey Gibbs."

"Ready to go?"

"No, but I guess I have to, don't I?"

He could only nod. Abby stood up and wrapped her arms around Gibbs.

"Bye Tony. Take care of Shannon and Kelly for me," Gibbs told Tony before they left.

Abby wanted to say good bye, but she just couldn't. She buried her face into Gibbs' chest and all he could do was wrap his arms around the woman he loved and walk her back to his car.


	3. Chapter 3

Gibbs purposely missed the turn to Abby's apartment. He wasn't going to leave her alone tonight. Not when there was no one else to be there for her.

Abby noticed that he missed the turn for her place but didn't speak up. She wanted to stay with someone tonight to keep her from doing anything uncalled for and the only someone left for a job like that was Gibbs. Everyone else had left her. Everyone.

That is what got Abby crying for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

When Gibbs heard this, all he wanted to do was scoop her up in his arms and whisper sweet, comforting words in her ear but he was still driving so all he could do was to lay his hand on her thigh and rub his thumb soothingly against it.

Her sobs turned into soft whimpers at the touch and all she could do was look at him with a tear-streaked face.

When they finally arrived at Gibbs' place, he got out and went over to the passenger side door. Abby wouldn't move from her seat. She didn't even open the door or unbuckle her seatbelt. Gibbs had to do it for her.

He picked her up out of her seat and she flung her arms around his neck and nuzzled her face into his shoulder. He carried her inside and upstairs to his bed room, setting her down on his bed.

He went to his dresser and pulled out his pajama pants and a white t-shirt for him and some old sweat pants and one of his old Marine Corps t-shirts for her, as that was what she wore when she normally spent the night.

Gibbs handed her the clothes that he had got out for her and spoke for the first time since they left the cemetery.

"Abbs, change into these. I will be back in a few minutes. Okay?"

She only nodded in reply and he left to change in the bathroom. She didn't change into the clothes that Gibbs gave her though. She just sat on the bed and stared at her boots.

Gibbs walked back in a few minutes later like he said he would and seen Abby had not changed.

"Abbs," he simply spoke, not wanting a reply. He went over to her and hugged her "Abbs, you won't be comfortable sleeping in what you're wearing."

'I know Gibbs, it's just hard for me to process my thoughts,' she signed to him.

'Abbs, I know. You have been very un-talkative these past few days,' he paused for a while before continuing with a different thought. 'if you don't mind, I am going to get you ready for bed.'

'Go ahead Gibbs. It isn't like you have not seen me like that before,' she couldn't finish her thought. She didn't want to relive that night again.

And frankly, neither did Gibbs. He was tired of seeing her hurt.

He started to undress her, taking off her shirt first, then her boots and lastly followed by her skirt. He gave her one good look over to make sure she had not done anything to her body before putting her into the night clothes. She refused the sweat pants but she at least accepted the shirt. He was thankful that the shirt covered her bottom or else he would of had to work hard to keep to himself and because he always did what she wanted, he would never of been able to put the pants on her.

As much as Gibbs just wanted to be down with his boat right now, he knew the both of them needed a good night's rest, so he started signing to Abby.

'Abbs, lay down. I won't leave you so don't worry. We booth need our sleep.'

She responded by crawling into bed. When Gibbs seen that she was going to at least lay down, he turned off the light and laid down next to her, on his side of the bed. He pulled Abby into his arms instinctively but was surprised when Abby wiggled herself to be even closer to him before whispering to him.

"I love you, Gibbs."

"I love you too, Abby."

"How much?"

Gibbs knew this was his chance to let her know how much he really cared for her, and he wasn't letting it slip away.

"More than anything in the world, Abby."

Abby lightly kissed him, not on the cheek, or nose, nor finger or temple, but where one should be kissed. Right on the lips.

She smiled slightly and wiggled as close as she could to his body and closed her eyes. She didn't sleep but thought of how happy Tony and Kate would be if they knew.

And a feeling inside of her, maybe in her gut, told her that somewhere, in each others arms, they did know and they were smiling for her.


End file.
